Typical: Chi Chaos
by Naturestune
Summary: My life was going fine until I went to get some coffee, then less then a day later I'm stuck in a land with a gravity-defying mountain that leaks magic crack-water and I'm stuck here until the 'balance' is restored whatever the hell that means. I've been told to save everyone by their GODDESS no less and oh did I mention they're constantly trying to kill one another? *Sigh* Typical


**Naturestune:** Yo everybody, this is something that has been floating through my brain forever and wouldn't leave so, I wrote it down and decided to write it as a story.

**Muse:** Wow that's a great plan. Write a story that's based on a show of furries!

**Naturestune:** Listen Muse it came from your department of the brain so you can just blame your plot bunnies for this.

**Muse:** Well excuse me for doing my job!

**Naturestune:** Oh hush up Drama queen!

**Muse:** Drama Queen, Oh that is it! ***Pulls Black Magic staff out of Bag of Trolling*** Bring it Bitch!

**Naturestune:** Ha as if you have the guts. ***Snaps fingers and a White Magic Staff appears*** let's see what you got.

**Muse:** Let's dance. ***charges forward with a Fira***

**Flying Disclaimer Cat**: ***Sigh* **Naturestune does not own Legends of Chima or anything else referenced in this written work, he only owns his OC's please don't sue us, we're broke.

**Muse:** Firaga!

**Naturestune:** Protegra!

**Muse**: Hmm~ you're stronger than I thought.

**Naturestune**: I know, so are you

**Muse**: All out?

**Naturestune**: You read my mind.

**Flying Disclaimer Cat**: For the love of god don't do it!

**Both**: I call upon the powers of Fire/Ice, heed my call and come forth to strike down my foe, Ifrit/Shiva!

**Naturestune**: Shiva Attack!

**Muse**: Ifrit Attack!

**Flying Disclaimer Cat**: *Tears* God why me?

**_BOOM!_**

**_To Be Continued…_**

* * *

My life is so Typical. Really It is. I was completely normal before my typically bad luck caused all of this crazy shit to start happening to me, well that and my sister-in-law. I was just trying to get away from the heavily pregnant women for a little while, as my ass of a brother left me with Grace for an entire day just so he could watch the football game with the guys.

The entire time she just wouldn't stop complaining, I can still hear her rants, 'I'm so fat', '*SOB*he doesn't love me! *SOB*' and then massive polar flip! 'HOW DARE HE NOT LOVE ME! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT FUCKING BASTARD, I'MMA TEAR HIS DICK OFF AND TURN IT INTO A TOASTER!*ROAR*' then 30 seconds later '*Sob* I'm sorry honey bear *sob*I didn't mean it*Sob Sob*.' That's probably the point I just crawled into the closet to hide…she still found me…I think, it gets a little fuzzy around there.

I swear to god if I wasn't already gay, that experience would have made me swear off women for the rest of my life. I mean, I get it she's emotional, heavily-pregnant, and high on enough pheromones to kill a herd of cattle but really? I'm gay, not a miracle worker!

So about a day after that **_lovely_** experience I grabbed my backpack, my wallet, my bow and arrows (in a different bag obviously) and escaped by jumping out the window. Yes, I left my brother alone with his rampaging wife, I'm am a horrible person…I love me.

After that I spent the next few hours at the recreational center just shooting targets with my bow, Keeva. Around 3 hours or so later I stopped and just wandered the town, wasting time. You know eating pizza, watched 'Frozen' (A/N: That movie was KICKASS! Watch it!), and going to the arcade in which I won two stuffed rabbits, one dressed in bat costume, the other a yellow chicken who I have dubbed Mr. Fluffernutter and Mrs. Feathersworth.

All the while ignoring my phone as it vibrated with texts from my brother, which all vary from death threats, to promises of a slow painful death and even begging to come home so he wouldn't lose his precious private parts. I didn't want to go back to the nightmare house just yet if the texts were any indication. My mother would be home later that evening from one of her trips, I think it was Africa that time…or was it India?

Anyways she has this, live your life to the fullest mentality and it's due to this that I got into more than half of the life changing experiences that I did, like my Archery and Music. Heck, when I was younger she would bring me along on these trips like that one rock-climbing trip when I was ten, that one was nuts.

On the subject of parents my father is a professor at the local university in the subject of Botany, the study of plants, which I'm majoring in by the way. I love nature which seems to be one of the few things me and my father agree on. He was gonna be home after picking mom up from the airport.

After spending an untold amount of time uh wasting time, I finally figured that I should head back home before my family got too worried. The sun was starting to set making the sky turn a mix of orange, pink, and reds, people were starting to head home or were about to hit the bar.

Walking up hill in a pair of sweats, a white t-shirt stating 'Keep calm and stay Awesome' and a green bunny-eared hoodie isn't really the best gear to walk home in the middle of winter but I kept warm by cursing my heavy gear that seem to increase in mass at every step. Woo~ Rage Heat, it's the best kind of warmth. This is the moment where everything started to go wrong, even if I didn't realize it.

Dragging my bag and my archery kit through town was not my best idea but I wanted to postpone my **_'welcome'_** home as long as possible. Sighing loudly I adjusted my backpack and switched hands on my archer bag trying to get the blood flowing again in my crippled hand.

"One hill down, two more to go…god damn hills." I groaned loudly as the stars started to wink into existence, the moon full as its light started to illuminate the dimly lit street, oddly enough I was the only soul on this street, normally there were at least a group or two joking around. Brushing it off as a small oddity, I walked, more like trudged, up the second hill before stopping to break and saw the holy land, a Bakery and not just any Bakery!

It had a blinking sign, 'We serve coffee.' I think I almost died for a second.

The Bakery was smaller than most stores but was decked out in Christmas decorations, the lights blinking on and off in tandem. Silver, green and red streamers splayed everywhere with fake snowflakes taped to the inside window.

"Thank the might of Gandalf the White! Coffee!" Practically sprinting to the declared 'holy land', I opened the door to find it empty despite the fresh smell of coffee and baked goods so it was obviously open. Slowly, I walked in the bell jingling lightly as the door closed.

"Hello~ anybody here?" The store which looked so cheery and inviting outside was raising that little red flag in my head that said 'Don't be that idiot in the horror movie, turn and sprint away! Don't walk! Sprint, moron, sprint!'

"H-Hello?" My nerves were high, something about this place put me on edge. Listening to my instincts I quickly turned to leave when…

"HI!" Of course I screamed loudly but as soon as I realized that I wasn't dying a slow and painful death by a man in a hockey mask, my scream trailed off and I opened my eyes to see the weirdest thing ever. It was of a child in a Green apron way too big for her so big it dragged on the floor as she stood there.

"Uh…hi?" I blushed as I tried to straighten up from my freak out. "Sorry about the screaming thing you, uh startled me." She giggled making my blush deepen, my face probably looked like a tomato.

"Its fine, I've gotten very good at sneaking up on people over the years." She smiled like she just told me a big secret. Raising an eyebrow I decided it was time for me to get what I came for.

"O~kay do you know where the workers are, I kinda want some coffee." She started to laugh loudly like I said something that was just hilarious.

"Oh that was a good one." She whipped her tears away before going around the counter to stand on what I assume was a stool. "Dude, I run this store." My expression of disbelief must have given me away because she started to pout. "Come on, I'm way older than I look, pinkie promise." She held out her pinkie like it was an unbreakable vow.

"Alright, if you can make me a Venti Hot White Chocolate mocha, then you can be as old as you want and, ooh, maybe heat up one of those delicious looking cupcakes." I pointed toward this rainbow frosted one that just screamed 'eat me'.

"Good choice, it'll take a couple of minutes but if you're willing to wait, I can make you an entire batch if you'd like."

"Wait, you made these?" As if my disbelief could go no farther, she nodded seeming quite proud of herself.

"Yup, it took me forever to get the recipe just right and a little help from this nice baker, she was quite odd too. She kept going on about smiles and she just loved to talk on and on. Then there was her pink puffy hair and don't get me started on her surprise parties, nearly gave me a heart attack." I had no idea what she was talking about but hey if I got my coffee I was happy. Wait, where did that cupcake batter come from?

"So how old are you exactly?" She gasped dramatically as she started to pour the batter into cupcake pans…wait were those always there? She pointed the batter covered spoon at me acting appalled.

"Why Nathan, you know it's rude to ask a lady her age." Giggling lightly I couldn't help but laugh along. When did I tell her my name? I probably mentioned it when I saw her…right? "You are 19 right?" I was shocked, not many people could make that connection seeing how I was vertically challenged A.K.A 5 feet tall that and I looked like I was 15.

"H-How?"

"You mean how'd I know?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. I mutely nodded as she giggled. "Well when you live as I have, you tend to get very good at figuring things out at a glance. I mean look at me, I look like a 12 year old but I'm much older than that." Wow, she spoke like she was ancient but she obviously wasn't but for a second I could see bags under her eyes, stress line and she looked so **_tired. _**I could see her age if only for a second.

"You look tired." Her eyes widened by a fraction, I almost didn't notice it. "You okay?"

"You could tell?" Her head was down facing the counter, face shadowed. She sounded so hopeful but it held a bit of fear in it as if it was too much to hope for. I raised my eyebrow again rather confused of this.

"Well it was just for a second but I could tell how tired you are, is everything okay?" The store was nice and warm but now that I looked closely it seemed so empty, so **_lonely_**.

_So much love to give but none to share with_. It was an odd thought that popped into my head. Looking back at her I jumped, her bright blue eyes were full of moister making her look like she was going to cry. "Whoa, a-are you okay? You look like you're gonna cry."

"I'm fine, it's just, it has been a long, long time since anybody's noticed." She wiped her eyes of the moister. "I've been really lonely and my…family has been going through some problems." Pausing for a second, I reached across the counter to rest on her shoulder causing her to look at me.

"Well, the thing about family is that here are always problems but all problems have solutions if we can just work them out." I smiled lightly but she just frowned more, the tears returning.

"But, that's the t-thing they **_can't_** hear me and I've tried." Her voice started to hitch. "I've been t-trying so hard to talk to them. The b-balance is being disrupted, a war is b-breaking out and it **_hurts._**" Tears began to fall from her eyes and to be honest I had no idea what this balance thing was but this sounded serious.

"Sweetie, hon, come on, you're are ugly when you cry so stop before you ruin your absolutely fabulous shirt." She giggled at my 'Sassy gay friend' voice. "There, there hon, your Sassy gay friend is here." I gave her a hug from over the counter before wiping her eyes with a napkin.

"Friend…ha, I don't remember the last time I had a friend." I wonder why, she seemed like great person. Well if you get over the young looks and her odd ability to scare the hell out of you, she could become a great friend.

"Well if you want we could hang out sometime. I know all the best places to have fun here." She wiped her eyes as started to smile, a real smile.

"Yes, that would be wonderful but it could be awhile until I'm able too." She said worryingly probably thinking of her family. I smiled kindly and took out a pen writing my number on a napkin and handed it over.

"Here's my number, if you need anything, anything at all call me, and I'll be right over." She held it in her hand as if it was as fragile as glass.

"Thank you, you are a very kind man. You know, I know a guy that'd be perfect for you." I sputtered, my face bright red, trying to think of a response.

"O-oh you, you haven't even called once and you're already trying to set me up on a blind date." I pouted just before the cupcakes dinged from the oven…when did she put them in there?

_'I've really got to start paying attention.' _I thought in confusion when I looked back they were frosted, packed and ready to go along with my coffee…_'Yeah~ something weird is going on.'_

"How?" She just smiled lightly and tapped her nose.

"Trade secret, also I have something for the kindness you've shown me." She reached into her apron pulled out a small necklace. Its chain seemed to be made of pure silver and at the base was the bluest stone I had ever laid eyes on, it was attached to the necklace by silver vines that ran along the surface.

"I-I can't accept this, it probably cost you a fortune." If it was possible her eye-blinding smile got even bigger before going around the counter to put the necklace around my neck. She moved my hair out of the way and stood on her tiptoes to put it on me.

"And that is why you deserve the necklace, you can see its value but you will not take it for your own selfish purposes, you are a kind soul and you have proven you're worthy of it." She had gotten the clasp on and let the stone fall right below my throat. I fingered the stone lightly, it was surprisingly warm for a stone necklace and couldn't help but like the way it felt around my neck.

"Thank you." I smiled at her and gave her a hug before taking off my bag, reaching for something she would love. "I've something for you too." I pulled it out with a huge 'surprise'!

"…Is that a rabbit dressed as a yellow chicken?" She asked amused.

"Yup, her name is Mrs. Feathersworth and her brother..." I reached back in for the other. "Mr. Fluffernutter! I was thinking you could keep Mrs. Feathersworth as company, so you wouldn't be so alone anymore and then we could bring them with us when we hang out." Carefully she reached out and took the stuffed rabbit with its cute red bow and stitched on smile and held it close.

"You are a very special man, Nathan Stone, let no one change you." I smiled as I pulled out my wallet to pay but she shook her head. "It is fine Nathan you have done more than enough to pay for these. Have a safe trip home and here is your phone back." I patted my pockets when she showed it to me mostly on habit before taking it.

"Oooh~ you are good!" I turned on my phone to new number in my phonebook.

"I know and you have my number now and if you need anything just call, I'll be there."

"Thanks, but you know I never got your name." Smiling slyly she suddenly didn't seem so small, young or sad but old, powerful, and a force to be reckoned with.

"I have many names but you can call me Cavora."

* * *

**Naturestune**: Wow ***gazing at the destruction of the authors box, his white robes tattered and torn, his staff barley keeping its light.***

**Muse**: I know right? ***Her jeans torn, 'fuck off' t-shirt dirtied and her bag of trolling dancing in the background singing 'Trololololololo" as it dances past.***

**Naturestune:** How about a draw?

**Muse:** I can live with that.

**Naturestune:** Welp, that's all for now hopefully the next chapter we can introduce Nathans life in this world and get him on his way to the Chima world. How exciting but I'm still having thoughts on when to put Nathan and who the hell does he end up with? Laval, Gorzan, Worriz, Cragger heck even an OC I've got no idea.

**Muse:** So he's free game?

**Naturestune:** Yup.

**Muse:** Heheheh ***Drool***

**Naturestune:** ***Blushing*** Muse, knock it off!

**Muse:** What? ***Wiping drool off while acting innocent***

**Naturestune:** Oh don't act so innocent! You missy are thinking of Nathan in very compromising positions with every male on the show! ***Received an image* **O-OH MY GODDESS was that LAGRAVIS getting a LAP-DANCE!?

**Muse:** I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Anyways R+R please and I'll stop sending these images to his brain...maybe.

**Naturestune:** FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! DO WHAT SHE SAYS PLEASE! ***Eye twitch*** Not Cragger AND Laval!

**Muse:** By the way, I win.


End file.
